A Year to Live

In Africa, I had a close call with death.

Standing on the edges of camp in early dawn, I was nearly the victim of a hit-and-run by a rogue gazelle. 

What I remember about the encounter is that is was followed by a strange sense of lightness. I remember presence.

In Tokyo, I spent a lot of time worrying about imagined threats. I stressed about not being able to enjoy dinner because of a late night at work. The thought of having to board a crowded Chuo Line train for my morning commute was a source of existential dread. All these imagined monsters in the future or past took away from my experience in the present.

Death. Now there’s something to really get the nerves firing. And now we’re at the one-year anniversary of our first coronavirus pandemic lockdowns, which failed to stop the deaths of millions globally. 

In A Year to Live, Stephen Levine explores the ways we ignore death, and how fear of death holds us back from embracing promise and potential in life. Levine challenges the reader with a simple question: what would you do differently if you had just one year to live?

This kind of death practice offers an opportunity to reassess priorities. It’s a practice that a lot of people have been doing over the last year without really thinking about it. More than a few people in my circles have undergone dramatic transformations during the pandemic. The convergence of failing social systems and a dangerous respiratory illness made many refocus on their families, spend less time working, or move to the desert, to the countryside, to community. 

But now there is a light at the end of the tunnel. As more people are vaccinated, and many others are just tired of quarantining and willing to risk it, there’s a rush for many to return to normal. 

I, for one, hope we don’t go back to normal. The last year taught me many important lessons about living, and dying. New and deeper relationships with friends in my germ pod added immeasurable value to my experience of life. I learned to communicate my feelings and needs more openly and to be more authentic. I pursued long-held goals, like beekeeping and communal living. 

Now I’m picking up A Year To Live with a new breadth and depth of experience to make use of its advice. The experience of the past year should guide us all beyond the comforting certainty that normal offers, toward living more intentionally.